For What Could a Circassian Lose Respect?

Among the Circassians, respect was not lost for poverty, failure, or defeat. It was lost for actions that demonstrated a lack of internal discipline and honor.
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First and foremost — for breaking one’s word. A promise was considered an absolute obligation, and a person who failed to fulfill it without a valid reason ceased to be reliable. He was no longer trusted with affairs, he was not called upon as a mediator, and his opinion ceased to matter.
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Second — violating the law of hospitality. A guest was under the full protection of the host. Any harm to a guest, betraying him, or humiliating him was considered a severe disgrace. Such an act cast a shadow not only on the individual but on his entire clan.
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Third — public cowardice. Not fear in itself, but fleeing unnecessarily, refusing to cover comrades, or evading responsibility in a moment of danger, especially if it happened in front of others.
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Fourth — greed. Refusing to help, shelter, or feed someone when there was a possibility to do so. It was believed that a person who begrudged others was internally empty.
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Fifth — disrespect for elders and women. Rudeness, harshness, and arrogance were perceived as signs of poor upbringing and a weak character.
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Sixth — talkativeness and gossip. A person who spoke too much or passed on what he heard was no longer trusted. His presence might be tolerated, but his words were ignored.
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And most importantly: respect was not lost over a single mistake, but because of repeated behavior. In Circassian society, respect could not be demanded or returned with words — it was either seen in a person, or ceased to be seen forever.
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